Well, I didn't get my scholarship. I can't go to Morocco. Bummer. I also can't afford to go back to SU fall quarter. So I have to move back home so I can work through summer and fall quarter. If anyone knows someone who's hiring, send them my way.
I don't really know how I feel about it all. A part of me is very sad. It is an experience that I was looking forward to, and it's gone. I've been planning my study abroad trip to the Middle East since I was a sophomore in high school. I told my mom that I feel like a dog on a chain: I've been running and running and suddenly there is no chain left. YELP!! I'm snapped back and can't move forward anymore. All I can do is go back.
At the same time, however, I'm kind of relieved. This year has been rough and I've become impatient and frustrated with school. This way, I have seven months to breathe. I'll still have to work, but I can finally enjoy my weekend without the panic in my chest every time I think about all the stuff I still have to do. And with any luck, I can make enough money to cover all my extra expenses in India and I'll have some left over to help cover my school costs.
So, maybe it is for the best. I believe that every big event in our lives happens for a reason. We'll just have to see what that reason turns out to be.
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I'm so sorry, Erika. I know you'll make it to Morocco someday, though. You've got all the talent and drive to do it. I also know that you'll fully use your time to breathe and that you'll come out more focused for India. And now, I'll have an excuse to go to Spokane!!!
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