Closer and Closer, Longer and Longer

In two months and three weeks I will be in Bangalore! I actually sent in my reservation form for my flight to Bangalore last week (and I assume they received it). My first payment is due on November 1st. It is really happening! Everyday brings be closer and closer to arrival, which I will now refer to as B-Day. I've also noticed that every day my To Do list grows longer and longer. Every couple of hours I remember something that I have to do or have to buy. Instead of doing it, I often just write in down and freak out the next day when I realize that it still needs to be done (not a very efficient system, I know). At least I finally found a job, so now I have money for everything.

I have to send in my visa application soon, which makes me very nervous. I wish the Indian embassy was in Spokane so I could apply in person. Why anyone would put an embassy in Spokane is beyond me; I just don't like sending important documents in the mail. My luck isn't great and that just feels like I'm taunting fate. "Hey Fate, I dare you to lose my passport, personal information, and birth certificate in the mail!" I'm sure it will be fine. I need to trust the people at UPS/FedEx/the Post Office.

As B-Day moves closer and my list grows longer, I'll have so much more to say. Until then, bon voyage!!

Holy Crap!!

In exactly three months and 12 hours I will be in the San Francisco airport waiting to board my plane to India. Mon Dieu!!

My feelings about going to India have become much more complex. When I talk with people about my trip, I get excited and can't wait to leave. But when I'm alone in my room and think about the fact that I am actually leaving and all the stuff I need to do before January 9th I start to freak out. Then, when my thoughts lead to money, I go into a full-blown panic attack. I start wondering if this is really a good idea. I know it will be a wonderful experience but I can't help but think that I can't do it. I'm the type of person who has terrible buyer's remorse. Before and immediately after any big purchase or big decision I start having second thoughts. I wonder if I made the right decision. I'm almost always happy with my choice, but there is always some initial hesitation.

As the days count down there will be more to say and more posts (finally). Until then, bon voyage.

Erika

Sitting in Bed, Mourning my Losses

In an ideal world, I would be in Spain right now, getting ready to leave the ISA orientation for Meknes, Morocco. In a less-than-ideal-but-still-ok world, I would be working so that I can go back to school and travel some more. Well kids, this is not an ideal world. This is not even a less-than-ideal-but-still-okay world. Instead, I am sitting in my room, looking at the want ads in the paper, and waiting for fate to favor me for once.

Have you ever wondered if you took a wrong path in life? Not a regret really, but more of a dark suspicion that you made a decision that ruined everything. That might be a little over dramatic, but my plans have failed so badly that I wonder if I messed up somewhere. If this isn't my destiny, what is? I just want to scream at the universe, "Don't just step on me, guide me!"

I guess I just have to keep on truckin'. Now that the option of Morocco is gone for good and going back to school can't happen right now, I have nowhere else to go. I'm stuck and all I can do is keep pushing forward and hope that some higher power rewards my efforts.

Well my lovelies, that is all for now. Hopefully I'll have some more cheerful things to say next time. Ta ta.

Not Much

I know, I'm a terrible blogger. I haven't written in over a month. Nothing has been going on. I moved back to Spokane and am currently looking for a job.

I've been looking into travel options. I want to take the opportunity to see as much as I can. I'm looking at stopping in Tokyo on my way to Bangalore and in London and New York on my way back. In between, who knows. Some of the others who are going to India with me have been discussing travelling together up to Agra (where the Taj Mahal is) and New Delhi. Another girl wants to go to Thailand and Cambodia and I would love to go with her. Hopefully I can afford it :)

I'm starting to get more excited. I can't bring myself to make any real plans or get too excited until November. The first payment for the program is due on November 1st and once that's in, I can relax and get excited (and very nervous). Until then, I keep thinking that something is going to go wrong. Part of me is expecting the entire plan to fall apart, leaving me in Spokane until September. That would really suck because I've already told so many people about India. I don't really want to have to explain that disappointment.

Other than that, not much has happened. I'm just sitting in Spokane, waiting for a change. Until then my friends, bon voyage ;)


Erika America

Changes

It has been an interesting month. Everything has fallen apart. I can't go to Morocco, I have to move back home to work, I almost lost my scholarships and the stupid ATM machine destroyed my debit card. All in about two weeks. It is being worked out and things are being put back together again, but in the process I have changed. During this time my entire future was crumbling around me and while I was scared, I found that I didn't really care. This path that I'm on, I don't know if it is the right one anymore. Every anthropology class I take makes me feel more confused and more discouraged. I want to travel and learn about different cultures. I don't want to respond to every comment with a question like "Is that really how it is?" "How do you know?" or "Where does this problem come from?" Getting nothing but unanswered questions as responses is really annoying!

I've looked a bit at different majors but it would only mean starting over again and I can't afford that. Besides, I'm one foundational course away from a minor in anthropology and two foundational courses away from my International Studies major. So I might as well stick with it so I can get my degree. But this has left me with the question of what to do next. If anthropology isn't right, what is?

I know I want to travel. I want to finish learning Arabic. I want to see something for what it is, not for the pieces I end up with after analyzing it to death. I would love to be a travel writer or photographer. Seeing the world and helping others see it as well. But where is the security in that? There aren't many full-time careers for travel writers. What would I do in-between?

The answer is: I still don't know. At least now the question has been asked. An answer will come with time. Until then, maybe this blog can be my practice round before I attempt to battle the big, over-crowded world of travel media. Thanks for letting me vent a bit. I know that isn't technically what the blog is for, but get ready for it. My first couple weeks in India will probably result in a lot of posts like these. Until next time.

Bon voyage

One Door Closes...

Well, I didn't get my scholarship. I can't go to Morocco. Bummer. I also can't afford to go back to SU fall quarter. So I have to move back home so I can work through summer and fall quarter. If anyone knows someone who's hiring, send them my way.

I don't really know how I feel about it all. A part of me is very sad. It is an experience that I was looking forward to, and it's gone. I've been planning my study abroad trip to the Middle East since I was a sophomore in high school. I told my mom that I feel like a dog on a chain: I've been running and running and suddenly there is no chain left. YELP!! I'm snapped back and can't move forward anymore. All I can do is go back.

At the same time, however, I'm kind of relieved. This year has been rough and I've become impatient and frustrated with school. This way, I have seven months to breathe. I'll still have to work, but I can finally enjoy my weekend without the panic in my chest every time I think about all the stuff I still have to do. And with any luck, I can make enough money to cover all my extra expenses in India and I'll have some left over to help cover my school costs.

So, maybe it is for the best. I believe that every big event in our lives happens for a reason. We'll just have to see what that reason turns out to be.

Slumdog

Hi! I know, it's been a while. Sorry. I didn't have anything to say for a while, but I'm back!

So, over spring break I saw "Slumdog Millionaire" and loved it! If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Surprisingly, it only made me want to go to India even more. My parents don't get it. We left the theatre and my dad said, "So, you still wanna go to India?" They were shocked when I said "Yes!" It is a little surprising. The movie doesn't exactly highlight the good points of India. But none of it was unexpected. I was aware of the conditions in the slums and life of the urban poor in India. I think that what I liked about the movie was that it showed a more realistic side of India. It wasn't like movies like "The Cheetah Girls: One World." It didn't show the beautiful colors, palaces, temples, and people. It didn't have sparkling streets that were completely empty. "Slumdog Millionaire" showed a more gritty side of India. It was heartbreaking but I think it takes us out of that Orientalist view that many Americans have of India. I felt like I was really seeing India, which I haven't felt with any other movie (and trust me, I've seen a lot of them).

If you've never wanted to go to India, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about and think I'm out of my mind. But I think for anyone who has wanted to see India, the true India, it makes sense to you.

Well kids, that's it for today. I promise I'll write again soon.

Bon voyage,
Erika America

Two Down, One to Go

Well, I got into the Morocco program. Yay, me! However, I'm having a difficult time being happy or excited. I am glad that I got into both of my programs, but when I talk about them, you sure as hell can't tell. I guess to an extent, I'm not allowing myself to be excited. I still have two months until I find out about the Boren scholarship. If it doesn't work out, Morocco is over, that's all there is to it. I'll go to India regardless, but it is too far away to really get excited. Morocco is much closer but any excitement I feel could be gone within two months. I cannot really get attached to the idea of going to Morocco. If I start making plans and buying guidebooks, a rejection letter from the NSEP would be a major blow. That is definitely the downside of my study abroad plan. I spend two months in limbo, trying to get things ready for either possibility, but never becoming fully emotionally invested in either. Well, stay tuned.

On a lighter note, I did go shopping last weekend at Indian Imports on Broadway and bought an outfit for India. I spent more than I should have, but the pants are just so cool and so not easy to find in the U.S. that I couldn't resist. I'll have to model it sometime so I can post some pictures. Bye.

Application Status: Done

Woo! No more applications! I just sent in all of the contracts for my Morocco application today. All I needed was a signature from the study abroad office and it took a week for it to finally happen. But it is all done! No more applications!! Well, for now anyways. I also got my t-shirt and first packet from USAC for India and I should get my housing assignment soon.

It is all becoming more real, but still really far away. I leave for Morocco (hopefully!) in 6 months and four days (186 days) and I leave for India in 10 months and 12 days (316 days). Too long!! I want to go now!! However, if you talk to me in 6 months I'll probably be whining about how I need more time and want to leave later... C'est la vie!

Bon Voyage,

Erika America

Divided by Partition, United by Language?

So, I found out a very interesting fact recently. Did you all know that Hindi (the national language of India) and Urdu (the national language of Pakistan) are essentially the same language? They come from the same spoken language but split off because Hindi uses an alphabet based on Sanskrit and Urdu uses a Persian-based alphabet. It all has to do with linguistic influences in the classes. As much as I've looked into India and Pakistan, I never knew that. It is so helpful! I've wanted to work in India and Pakistan for a while now and if I learn Hindi, combined with my knowledge of the similar Arabic alphabet, I can communicate in Urdu as well. How convenient! What I thought was really amazing is that the only language that can be used to communicate with more people is Mandarin. If I work hard and get at least a solid knowledge of Hindi while I'm in Bangalore, I will be able to communicate with over a billion people! How cool is that!!

Okay, I'm done for the night. I just wanted to share that fact with all of you. The more you know...

Passport Photos

Has anyone ever taken a good passport photo? I don't seem to have any luck. My original passport picture makes me cringe. I was 16, 15 pounds heavier, I had a spray tan left over from a pageant, and a zit. It is a time in my life that no one wants to remember. So, this time I thought it would be different. I had to get another picture taken to send in with my contracts for India. I made sure that my hair looked good and my makeup was done and thought it would be okay. Of course not... The camera that the woman used is one of those that takes forever to take a picture. I smiled, she pressed the button. The shutter closed, I dropped my smile, and the flash went off. So my picture is me with this weird smile that kind of looks like I'm puckering my lips while trying to smile. Not very flattering. Oh well...
On the bright side, I'm not horrified by this one. Instead of feeling embarrassed, every time I see the new picture I can't help but laughing. What a dork! I think we are all destined to take horrible ID photos so I might as well accept it and laugh at myself.

Welcome

اهلاً وَ سَهلاً

Welcome everyone!!! I am Erika and I am leaving America. I am a student at Seattle University and next year I am planning on spending a semester in Meknes, Morocco and a semester in Bangalore, India. I knew I wanted to write a blog after leaving, but I've decided to start early. For one, I just really don't want to wait until September to start writing and I don't have any other topics to write about. Also, I thought it would be interesting to write about my entire experience studying abroad. For any of you who have never studied or traveled abroad before, it is a long process. There are a lot of steps and a lot of emotions behind the entire process. So, I want to share my experience with all of you from the very beginning. The excitement, the applications, the panic attacks, the culture shock, and everything else that might come my way. Hopefully my journey will inspire some of you to travel abroad and give you all some advice along the way! Yay!