It has been an interesting month. Everything has fallen apart. I can't go to Morocco, I have to move back home to work, I almost lost my scholarships and the stupid ATM machine destroyed my debit card. All in about two weeks. It is being worked out and things are being put back together again, but in the process I have changed. During this time my entire future was crumbling around me and while I was scared, I found that I didn't really care. This path that I'm on, I don't know if it is the right one anymore. Every anthropology class I take makes me feel more confused and more discouraged. I want to travel and learn about different cultures. I don't want to respond to every comment with a question like "Is that really how it is?" "How do you know?" or "Where does this problem come from?" Getting nothing but unanswered questions as responses is really annoying!
I've looked a bit at different majors but it would only mean starting over again and I can't afford that. Besides, I'm one foundational course away from a minor in anthropology and two foundational courses away from my International Studies major. So I might as well stick with it so I can get my degree. But this has left me with the question of what to do next. If anthropology isn't right, what is?
I know I want to travel. I want to finish learning Arabic. I want to see something for what it is, not for the pieces I end up with after analyzing it to death. I would love to be a travel writer or photographer. Seeing the world and helping others see it as well. But where is the security in that? There aren't many full-time careers for travel writers. What would I do in-between?
The answer is: I still don't know. At least now the question has been asked. An answer will come with time. Until then, maybe this blog can be my practice round before I attempt to battle the big, over-crowded world of travel media. Thanks for letting me vent a bit. I know that isn't technically what the blog is for, but get ready for it. My first couple weeks in India will probably result in a lot of posts like these. Until next time.