Sitting in Bed, Mourning my Losses

In an ideal world, I would be in Spain right now, getting ready to leave the ISA orientation for Meknes, Morocco. In a less-than-ideal-but-still-ok world, I would be working so that I can go back to school and travel some more. Well kids, this is not an ideal world. This is not even a less-than-ideal-but-still-okay world. Instead, I am sitting in my room, looking at the want ads in the paper, and waiting for fate to favor me for once.

Have you ever wondered if you took a wrong path in life? Not a regret really, but more of a dark suspicion that you made a decision that ruined everything. That might be a little over dramatic, but my plans have failed so badly that I wonder if I messed up somewhere. If this isn't my destiny, what is? I just want to scream at the universe, "Don't just step on me, guide me!"

I guess I just have to keep on truckin'. Now that the option of Morocco is gone for good and going back to school can't happen right now, I have nowhere else to go. I'm stuck and all I can do is keep pushing forward and hope that some higher power rewards my efforts.

Well my lovelies, that is all for now. Hopefully I'll have some more cheerful things to say next time. Ta ta.

One Door Closes...

Well, I didn't get my scholarship. I can't go to Morocco. Bummer. I also can't afford to go back to SU fall quarter. So I have to move back home so I can work through summer and fall quarter. If anyone knows someone who's hiring, send them my way.

I don't really know how I feel about it all. A part of me is very sad. It is an experience that I was looking forward to, and it's gone. I've been planning my study abroad trip to the Middle East since I was a sophomore in high school. I told my mom that I feel like a dog on a chain: I've been running and running and suddenly there is no chain left. YELP!! I'm snapped back and can't move forward anymore. All I can do is go back.

At the same time, however, I'm kind of relieved. This year has been rough and I've become impatient and frustrated with school. This way, I have seven months to breathe. I'll still have to work, but I can finally enjoy my weekend without the panic in my chest every time I think about all the stuff I still have to do. And with any luck, I can make enough money to cover all my extra expenses in India and I'll have some left over to help cover my school costs.

So, maybe it is for the best. I believe that every big event in our lives happens for a reason. We'll just have to see what that reason turns out to be.

Two Down, One to Go

Well, I got into the Morocco program. Yay, me! However, I'm having a difficult time being happy or excited. I am glad that I got into both of my programs, but when I talk about them, you sure as hell can't tell. I guess to an extent, I'm not allowing myself to be excited. I still have two months until I find out about the Boren scholarship. If it doesn't work out, Morocco is over, that's all there is to it. I'll go to India regardless, but it is too far away to really get excited. Morocco is much closer but any excitement I feel could be gone within two months. I cannot really get attached to the idea of going to Morocco. If I start making plans and buying guidebooks, a rejection letter from the NSEP would be a major blow. That is definitely the downside of my study abroad plan. I spend two months in limbo, trying to get things ready for either possibility, but never becoming fully emotionally invested in either. Well, stay tuned.

On a lighter note, I did go shopping last weekend at Indian Imports on Broadway and bought an outfit for India. I spent more than I should have, but the pants are just so cool and so not easy to find in the U.S. that I couldn't resist. I'll have to model it sometime so I can post some pictures. Bye.

Application Status: Done

Woo! No more applications! I just sent in all of the contracts for my Morocco application today. All I needed was a signature from the study abroad office and it took a week for it to finally happen. But it is all done! No more applications!! Well, for now anyways. I also got my t-shirt and first packet from USAC for India and I should get my housing assignment soon.

It is all becoming more real, but still really far away. I leave for Morocco (hopefully!) in 6 months and four days (186 days) and I leave for India in 10 months and 12 days (316 days). Too long!! I want to go now!! However, if you talk to me in 6 months I'll probably be whining about how I need more time and want to leave later... C'est la vie!

Bon Voyage,

Erika America

Welcome

اهلاً وَ سَهلاً

Welcome everyone!!! I am Erika and I am leaving America. I am a student at Seattle University and next year I am planning on spending a semester in Meknes, Morocco and a semester in Bangalore, India. I knew I wanted to write a blog after leaving, but I've decided to start early. For one, I just really don't want to wait until September to start writing and I don't have any other topics to write about. Also, I thought it would be interesting to write about my entire experience studying abroad. For any of you who have never studied or traveled abroad before, it is a long process. There are a lot of steps and a lot of emotions behind the entire process. So, I want to share my experience with all of you from the very beginning. The excitement, the applications, the panic attacks, the culture shock, and everything else that might come my way. Hopefully my journey will inspire some of you to travel abroad and give you all some advice along the way! Yay!